walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
