I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
