That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just had sex on a roof
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
