Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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