Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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