I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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