So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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