I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
