did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
