If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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