Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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