I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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