1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The power of my boobs compel you
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
