Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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