Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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