I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it hurts more in the daytime
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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