You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
