so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
