2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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