just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Someone shattered a urinal.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
