Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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