Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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