I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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