He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
