I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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