You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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