hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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