i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
