Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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