he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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