when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
tell your sister to shave her snatch
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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