porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
