C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to make out with him forever
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize