True but thats because hes a fetus.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My ass is underappreciated
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
