so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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