Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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