I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just had sex on a roof
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
