That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
