she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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