How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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