Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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