Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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