he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Say something about gay babies.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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