Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
