hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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