Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
