Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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