I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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