didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
