A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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