She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
