i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
