Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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