i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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