For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
