There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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