so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
