I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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