At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
pop tarts are not kleenex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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