guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize